Something To Talk About

"Let's give 'em somethin' to talk about, a little mystery to figure out."

That song seems to pretty much be Val and I's theme song lately LOL I find it kind of funny too. If people knew what ACTUALLY went on behind all of the stories they'd probably be a lot less excited to talk about what they think is going on.

The truth is, that we are just two twenty-something year olds who are at the same place in life and we're muddling through just like a lot of other twenty-somethings who have done the same things before us.

Life, and being happy, is really all a choice. No matter who you're with or around or friends with or what you have...you have to be able to smile at all of the little things and that's what we've been able to do. It's made us much happier people.

I, well actually probably both of us, have learned a lot in these past few months. We've both been judged unfairly for our decisions but it's not really my place to write about the lessons she's learned so I'll just stick with mine. What I have figured out is that in life, there are people who are going to disagree with you or judge you no matter what choices you make. There is always going to be someone who thinks that they can live your life better than you can. Usually, that person is someone who has never been in that situation. It's very easy to look in on people's lives from the outside and feel like you have every answer or solution when in reality you have no idea. You're not living in their world, experiencing their emotions, dealing with what they deal with. We can always say that we'd react differently in certain circumstances but until we're actually there we never know how we will react. Who we are as people, what we've seen in our lives and what we've experienced will determine our reactions and nothing else.

Something else I have learned is that for the first time in a very long time, I don't truly care what others think of me. I have skeletons in my closet, just like the rest of the world. I have made bad choices and decisions in the past but it's how I have reacted to them as of late and the choices I've made because of them and what I've learned from them that really has been what mattered.

There was a time in my life, and not very long ago, when I felt the need to sit and discuss everyone elses problems or lives or shortcomings or whatever. Then I got so busy LIVING my OWN life that I no longer had time to care about or ponder or criticize theirs. What a freedom that gives someone. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." I understand now, the wisdom and truth in her words. How much of life I missed out on giving one shit too many about other people.

I always wondered why people did that. I think it helps to make them feel better about themselves. I think that when someone goes from miserable to happy it just adds fuel to the rumor fire or maybe it's just jealousy. A natural reaction? Either way, I've moved beyond it. I find that the older I get the more of a peaceful, yet exciting and happy life I want to lead. I've found a lot of things that make me happy, mostly about myself, some having to do with other people. I've started being spontaneous and random again, I've started really being me again.

I've been redecorating my house. That has made me happy. I've wanted to do it since I've been here and I finally got the motivation. It's coming really well. Slowly but surely because of course I can't just go drop a bazillion dollars on stuff that I want but it's getting there one room at a time. It makes me happy to walk into my bedroom and see it nicely decorated and clean. It makes me happy to walk into the kitchen and see the same. It's nothing really huge, just little touches but they've made a world of difference. Plus, with Val living here and people constantly in and out having everything organized has made it much easier to keep clean even with the constant traffic.

Another thing that has made me really happy is having Val around. I've had a lot of great friends, a lot of good friends, a lot of okay friends but Val has lately be an amazingly TRUE friend, at least that's a female. The others among the people who are my true friends know who they are but they've known that for a while now = ) It's nice to have someone like that around all the time to keep me in check.

There are a few other things that have made me really happy lately. The horses getting better, money getting better, new people I've met, new friends I've made and of course, my son and watching him grow older and learn things.

Life, is for the first time in a long time, really amazing. I work at making it that way. Anyone who doesn't agree with what I do or how I have changed things is probably miserable with some part of their lives or themselves best I can figure. Or maybe they're just upset they lack the motivation or courage to set out on a totally different path with help from no one but themselves and start living their own lives. It's scary but it's an amazing ride so far. I think that I can safely say, I've finally REALLY grown up, in the last way that there is to grow as a person. My life is complete for the first time and I know I can handle whatever comes next because of what I have lived through so far.

Enough rambling for now I suppose. Time to make dinner for three awesome people in my life = ) then spend the night watching movies and enjoying a cold beer while Val and I discuss plans for the coming year.