Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
What's Done is Done
I love this time of night here at home. It's so quiet and peaceful. The dogs are asleep, Caleb is at his Nana's tonight, the roomie is asleep and I'm left here alone with my thoughts.
You know, it's funny, there's so much I could say but it all seems like a waste of breath. The thing I've learned the most lately is, you can't fix stupid and well, in this world, there's a lot of stupid lol. I am done trying to change peoples mind or put the real thing out there. I know what it is, and I'm content with just that. People will be convinced of whatever they want, I don't even care to change it anymore. I'm going to laugh to myself about it all, because well, I got it like that.
I do what I do and I LOVE my life. I also LIVE my life for no one but myself and my son. People can disagree with that or think whatever they want but I have my time to be mom and my time, after 4 years, to be me. I am entitled to that and there are no rules saying you are not allowed that to be a good parent. I want breaks like everyone else and just because I take them doesn't mean I'm less, it means I know when to give myself a mental rest so my child can have a happier parent around him rather than someone who is bitter and miserable.
Either way, I'm done explaining it. I have some awesome friends in my life, I have a lot of awesome things going for me and most of all, I'm loving every minute of living MY life on MY terms. I should have done this a long time ago. If anyone feels left out, or left behind, well then I really don't know what to say. I'm still young and I still have time to do all of the things I want to. I don't have to stop living because I have a boyfriend, I don't have to stop living because I have a child and most of all I don't have to stop living because some bitter person who must hate their own life so much they have to have a superior attitude, thinks that I should. I'll do me, you do you.
I was never the perfect housewife, I can't make myself squeeze into that role. I know I'm not a perfect mother, but I do my best and my son grows up around amazing people who love him and care about him and has a mom who is HAPPY finally. I know that I may bounce from job to job but it's always kind of been my thing. I don't like boring and I don't like routine and if that makes me a bad person well then so be it.
I have worked hard to get everything that I have wanted in whatever fashion I've done it. I have been through times where I only depended on myself and times where I have only depended on others. Either way, I've always made it through, repaid my debt in one form or fashion and come out better on the other side. Life isn't always easy, sometimes we fall and sometimes we stumble, we have to rely on others occasionally who can help pick us back up, that's just all a part of it and there isn't a bit of shame in it. At least not to me, a person who has lived a lot of life without some idealized version of the world that I hold up as 'how it should be'. There is no 'how it should be', things change and evolve every day and you adapt to the situation at hand. That's just how it goes and I wouldn't have it any other way. The best parts of life are in the struggle, not in the easy parts.
Some people will never learn and grow. I have learned that too. There are some people who are content in their own little bubble, working so hard to prove their happier or better. I'm not. I like just being happier, better is a matter of opinion which I never really cared about. There is so much out there to see and do, and so much life to live, I could never limit myself to one small thing, one small view of this whole wide world. I want to do as much as I can and meet as many people as I can and have as much fun as I can because what it comes down to is that we only live once. We have to make the best of it, there is no redo button.
I guess, in the end, what I'm saying is this, I LIVE my life. I don't care who doesn't approve or what the silly opinions of others may be. I have learned through living, not through a text book and though that might not give me a big ol career or some high paying job, the payment I get from LIVING and LEARNING in life will make me richer in the end than any hour I've ever spent in a class room. I don't think I'm better or worse for that, it's just the way I prefer to be. That works for me and that's all I care about. People can say whatever they want, console themselves with whatever stories they fabricate or make themselves the do all hero in but I know the truth and deep down, they do too. I can still look in the mirror every day and feel just fine.
Well, long day tomorrow and I've blabbered on enough. There's a whole new day and a LOT of life to be lived. I intend to make the most out of EVERY minute. I can't wait to be on the road for the longest road trip of my life in 9 days with one of my very best friends. It's work (having to get the car from point a to b) and fun (might as well make the best of it) all rolled in to one. Can't ask for more =)
Until next time kids....
You know, it's funny, there's so much I could say but it all seems like a waste of breath. The thing I've learned the most lately is, you can't fix stupid and well, in this world, there's a lot of stupid lol. I am done trying to change peoples mind or put the real thing out there. I know what it is, and I'm content with just that. People will be convinced of whatever they want, I don't even care to change it anymore. I'm going to laugh to myself about it all, because well, I got it like that.
I do what I do and I LOVE my life. I also LIVE my life for no one but myself and my son. People can disagree with that or think whatever they want but I have my time to be mom and my time, after 4 years, to be me. I am entitled to that and there are no rules saying you are not allowed that to be a good parent. I want breaks like everyone else and just because I take them doesn't mean I'm less, it means I know when to give myself a mental rest so my child can have a happier parent around him rather than someone who is bitter and miserable.
Either way, I'm done explaining it. I have some awesome friends in my life, I have a lot of awesome things going for me and most of all, I'm loving every minute of living MY life on MY terms. I should have done this a long time ago. If anyone feels left out, or left behind, well then I really don't know what to say. I'm still young and I still have time to do all of the things I want to. I don't have to stop living because I have a boyfriend, I don't have to stop living because I have a child and most of all I don't have to stop living because some bitter person who must hate their own life so much they have to have a superior attitude, thinks that I should. I'll do me, you do you.
I was never the perfect housewife, I can't make myself squeeze into that role. I know I'm not a perfect mother, but I do my best and my son grows up around amazing people who love him and care about him and has a mom who is HAPPY finally. I know that I may bounce from job to job but it's always kind of been my thing. I don't like boring and I don't like routine and if that makes me a bad person well then so be it.
I have worked hard to get everything that I have wanted in whatever fashion I've done it. I have been through times where I only depended on myself and times where I have only depended on others. Either way, I've always made it through, repaid my debt in one form or fashion and come out better on the other side. Life isn't always easy, sometimes we fall and sometimes we stumble, we have to rely on others occasionally who can help pick us back up, that's just all a part of it and there isn't a bit of shame in it. At least not to me, a person who has lived a lot of life without some idealized version of the world that I hold up as 'how it should be'. There is no 'how it should be', things change and evolve every day and you adapt to the situation at hand. That's just how it goes and I wouldn't have it any other way. The best parts of life are in the struggle, not in the easy parts.
Some people will never learn and grow. I have learned that too. There are some people who are content in their own little bubble, working so hard to prove their happier or better. I'm not. I like just being happier, better is a matter of opinion which I never really cared about. There is so much out there to see and do, and so much life to live, I could never limit myself to one small thing, one small view of this whole wide world. I want to do as much as I can and meet as many people as I can and have as much fun as I can because what it comes down to is that we only live once. We have to make the best of it, there is no redo button.
I guess, in the end, what I'm saying is this, I LIVE my life. I don't care who doesn't approve or what the silly opinions of others may be. I have learned through living, not through a text book and though that might not give me a big ol career or some high paying job, the payment I get from LIVING and LEARNING in life will make me richer in the end than any hour I've ever spent in a class room. I don't think I'm better or worse for that, it's just the way I prefer to be. That works for me and that's all I care about. People can say whatever they want, console themselves with whatever stories they fabricate or make themselves the do all hero in but I know the truth and deep down, they do too. I can still look in the mirror every day and feel just fine.
Well, long day tomorrow and I've blabbered on enough. There's a whole new day and a LOT of life to be lived. I intend to make the most out of EVERY minute. I can't wait to be on the road for the longest road trip of my life in 9 days with one of my very best friends. It's work (having to get the car from point a to b) and fun (might as well make the best of it) all rolled in to one. Can't ask for more =)
Until next time kids....
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Everything I've Always Wanted To Say
This is to all the fake ass bitches out there...
First off, your convenient excuses for the shit that you did might get by with everyone else. However, there are some of us who saw the truth, and know it for exactly what it was/is. Yet, you act like your hands are clean enough to talk about everyone else. That's a fucking joke and a half. You don't have the balls to say anything to my face, just behind my back to your joke of a friend who also has no balls. There are some people who apparently focus way too much on my life instead of their own yet blame me of the same thing. I wouldn't want what either of you have, you couldn't pay me to take it, so please save yourselves the breath of acting like what you have/want is what I 'wish' I could.
I love this image people have in their head of what my life is like and why theirs (or they) are better. LOL I don't even know where to begin on that one so I won't.
I'm not bitter and hateful enough about my life or myself to attack you unless attacked first. Think long and hard about that. If only they knew, I have what they really want ;) BUT that's another story LOL I think I played I win in that game too.
The fact is that what you find acceptable or perfect in your life, I wouldn't wish for in mine. I have all that I want/need and I know who I REALLY am, what I've really done and what I've REALLY been through. Your view is skewed by hatred and so far from the outside you don't seem to understand. You make up stories to act like you have any idea of what I've been through but the truth is I've talked to the people you talk about, and their story is very different than yours. There's a reason there are so few who are loyal to you. You take your anger out on people for your own failings and shortcomings because you're jealous of what they had that you now wish you could have to the point of trying to convince yourself it's real every month.
I don't act like my life, or I, am perfect. I just live and do what I do. Your opinions can be whatever they want. Maybe everyone should take a very hard look at themselves and their daily habits before they judge mine. I have fun in whatever I do but I also take care of my responsibilities. Until you have done what I have done ALONE then you will never know. You can say you do all you want. But, you don't. Working hard on everyone elses dime, or raping the system because of some BS makes you the same as the person you presume I am and may I add, leaves you no room to talk. Oh congrats, you did something on your own? For once?! Here's a cookie.
The games and shit talk are cute. If you REALLY knew what was going on, you'd hate me even more lol it makes me giggle on the inside. Keep on being so bitter about your life you have to watch everything I do and say and talk about it amongst yourselves. I think it's funny, and I think it's cute. Above all, it's why I've cleared a lot of useless people out of my life. I'm tired of hearing their daily drama about fucked up people in fucked up situations. I'm out living while you're busy trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you're not really who you REALLY are.
LOL Deuces! Winning!
First off, your convenient excuses for the shit that you did might get by with everyone else. However, there are some of us who saw the truth, and know it for exactly what it was/is. Yet, you act like your hands are clean enough to talk about everyone else. That's a fucking joke and a half. You don't have the balls to say anything to my face, just behind my back to your joke of a friend who also has no balls. There are some people who apparently focus way too much on my life instead of their own yet blame me of the same thing. I wouldn't want what either of you have, you couldn't pay me to take it, so please save yourselves the breath of acting like what you have/want is what I 'wish' I could.
I love this image people have in their head of what my life is like and why theirs (or they) are better. LOL I don't even know where to begin on that one so I won't.
I'm not bitter and hateful enough about my life or myself to attack you unless attacked first. Think long and hard about that. If only they knew, I have what they really want ;) BUT that's another story LOL I think I played I win in that game too.
The fact is that what you find acceptable or perfect in your life, I wouldn't wish for in mine. I have all that I want/need and I know who I REALLY am, what I've really done and what I've REALLY been through. Your view is skewed by hatred and so far from the outside you don't seem to understand. You make up stories to act like you have any idea of what I've been through but the truth is I've talked to the people you talk about, and their story is very different than yours. There's a reason there are so few who are loyal to you. You take your anger out on people for your own failings and shortcomings because you're jealous of what they had that you now wish you could have to the point of trying to convince yourself it's real every month.
I don't act like my life, or I, am perfect. I just live and do what I do. Your opinions can be whatever they want. Maybe everyone should take a very hard look at themselves and their daily habits before they judge mine. I have fun in whatever I do but I also take care of my responsibilities. Until you have done what I have done ALONE then you will never know. You can say you do all you want. But, you don't. Working hard on everyone elses dime, or raping the system because of some BS makes you the same as the person you presume I am and may I add, leaves you no room to talk. Oh congrats, you did something on your own? For once?! Here's a cookie.
The games and shit talk are cute. If you REALLY knew what was going on, you'd hate me even more lol it makes me giggle on the inside. Keep on being so bitter about your life you have to watch everything I do and say and talk about it amongst yourselves. I think it's funny, and I think it's cute. Above all, it's why I've cleared a lot of useless people out of my life. I'm tired of hearing their daily drama about fucked up people in fucked up situations. I'm out living while you're busy trying to convince yourself and everyone else that you're not really who you REALLY are.
LOL Deuces! Winning!
Delusional people are funny
All I can say....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG I can't. Stop. Laughing. They make medication for people like that. My feelings are sooooooooooo hurt because I give a fuck about children's opinions LMFAO OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, I have to stop wasting time on morons who know nothing but I had to take a moment to amuse myself. LOL WTF ever. This game was called....I win. You know, I really love this one Ke$ha song right now...I can't remember the name of it.......hmmmm ;) LMFAO
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG I can't. Stop. Laughing. They make medication for people like that. My feelings are sooooooooooo hurt because I give a fuck about children's opinions LMFAO OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, I have to stop wasting time on morons who know nothing but I had to take a moment to amuse myself. LOL WTF ever. This game was called....I win. You know, I really love this one Ke$ha song right now...I can't remember the name of it.......hmmmm ;) LMFAO
Blah,Blah, Blah, is what it is lol
LOL Some people think everything is about them. I guess it's just part of that self centered attitude of the 'children of America'. Ah, one day they'll learn, I guess that's all I can say.
Side note: I just wanna scream out, I know something you don't know LMAO I'm so mature sometimes. SOOOO wish I could let this cat out of the bag, but I can't, not now anyway lol in the mean time, I'm just content knowing for my own warped sense of satisfaction and well other kinds as well LMFAO.
Anyway, gonna take the kiddo and the doggies swimming today. Hanging out with the best roomie ever, Beth, and then maybe curling up and watching some movies later here at the house ;) I need to fold some laundry, but it's a nice day so that can wait. Can't wait to go to AZ soon! Then, when I get back it's time to pick up Etta and Wiggles from the airport all the way from the Stan. Can't wait to get the doggies here! YAY!
Until next time....
Side note: I just wanna scream out, I know something you don't know LMAO I'm so mature sometimes. SOOOO wish I could let this cat out of the bag, but I can't, not now anyway lol in the mean time, I'm just content knowing for my own warped sense of satisfaction and well other kinds as well LMFAO.
Anyway, gonna take the kiddo and the doggies swimming today. Hanging out with the best roomie ever, Beth, and then maybe curling up and watching some movies later here at the house ;) I need to fold some laundry, but it's a nice day so that can wait. Can't wait to go to AZ soon! Then, when I get back it's time to pick up Etta and Wiggles from the airport all the way from the Stan. Can't wait to get the doggies here! YAY!
Until next time....
Monday, July 18, 2011
Funniest Thing Ever
Hahaha it's so cute how some people live in a fantasy land. I really can't say much more than that.
All I can say is, what a joke.
Anyway, lots to do today.
All I can say is, what a joke.
Anyway, lots to do today.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I'm just me
Someone once told me, "You're like a mustang. No point in trying to tame you." I laughed at the analogy at first but then, I realized it's true. If someone pushes in one direction, I push harder in the other. If someone tells me no, I want to make it a yes. If someone tells me I can't, I'll do anything to succeed at it instead. It's just the way I am 90% of time. The thought of letting anyone, especially a man and no matter how much I love the, tell me what to do or that they want me to do certain things or that I should (that's always the worst word) do certain things...well, I can't handle that. I just want to be me and do what I do.
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