It Goes On

Robert Frost said, "I can sum up everything I've learned about life in three words, IT GOES ON."

I've given a lot of thought to that quote over the past few days and it's so true. No matter what we do, or our best laid plans, or how things may fall apart, at the end of the day the world isn't going to stop. It's going to keep on turning with or without us and life will continue in one way shape or form.

When things in our life are changing so much and so rapidly and we make choices that lead us into new and maybe uncharted territory I think it's so easy to be afraid that if we mess up everything will change, that life will change, it will all end if we make the wrong choice. In reality, life will go on and we only have two choices at that point, sink or swim. I tend to be a swimmer but I've realized a lot of people aren't. I've watched things happen in my friends lives over these past few weeks and some of them have picked up and carried on and found a way to get through, to survive. Others have sank and wallowed in self pity, insane actions and cries for attention because they're not strong enough people to 'do life' on their own.

I never really understood that. I mean we all have weak moments. We all fall, we all need help or a shoulder or a hand to hold sometimes but to be completely helpless on your own or even to act that way all the time, I would think demeans a human being. Men have this problem too sometimes but I find that it is worse for women.

At times, I look at the way I was raised (by a very independent, strong willed, do it yourself kind of Mom) and I wish things had been different BUT then I realize all of the things she taught me by being the way that she was and is and all that she still teaches me. Not to mention my seemingly quiet, demure, soft spoken Grandmother who was anything but ; ) That woman was smarter than most people with PhD's that I've met. That being said I was raised by some incredibly strong and just plain incredible women and it shaped me into the kind of person that I am. If you add life experiences into that basic upbringing what I have lived through has given me a pretty iron will and sense of independence.

I think it's important that I teach my son to stand on his own, speak his mind, stand up for what he believes, etc. Since he's just like me already I don't think he'll have much of an issue doing any of those things. However, if I'm ever blessed enough to have a daughter her lessons will be very different. I watch women every day who can't survive, on their own or at least they think they can't, without a man. It makes me sad. Why did these mothers never teach their daughters that you don't NEED a man to have a rich, successful and happy life? Sure it's nice, everyone wants a partner. BUT, if one day that husband walks out I want to know that I've taught my daughter to stand on her own two feet and close the door behind him (letting it hit him in the ass of course LOL). I want to know that I've given my daughter the tools and the ability to be a survivor and stand up for herself and to never grovel at the feet of a man begging for him to take her back.

I guess I say all of this because I see certain friends of mine who will have weak moments, think about going back to a life they were fairly miserable with when things get hard, I think that's normal and then I see people I know absolutely lose their world when their husband walks out. To the point they had put themselves AND their child in danger AND threatened suicide among many other INSANE reactions I've witnessed over the past two weeks. Over a man? DEFINITELY not worth it. Sitting in bed, eating a tub of ice cream and crying for a few days= much better response if you must LOL

I'm not laughing and I'm not judging. At one point, I would've to some extent (minus the child in danger and self harm) been that person whose world was absolutely destroyed if someone said 'I don't love you anymore' or 'I'm in love with someone else'. Today, it would obviously still hurt, I'd be sad, I'd be upset but in a few days I'd pick myself up off of the proverbial floor and carry on because there is no other option. When you're a mother and there are other people depending on you, you are forced to sum up life in three words and make it go on.

I guess I just wanted to get that out. The differences in people like me and the other person I've mentioned have been pointed out so much recently and have been so glaringly obvious lately and I think I just pondered what the difference in us could've been in our reactions. People are all different but what makes a woman be okay with being the weaker, more feeble, helpless creature? I am definitely not and I can't even fake it. I tried and I don't wear the look very well LOL I can't do helpless we have all realized because I just get too mad waiting on people to help or they do it wrong and then I get mad and just do it myself LOL

I suppose I should be more sympathetic and all but I find it hard, after what I've endured, mostly alone, for the past almost year to look at someone who can't even handle their own serious matters and have pity. We all make our own beds, we all have to accept the reality of the one we are given to lay in, and in the end...Life: it goes on.

I guess you could say I'm one of those girls
That's always been with one of those guys
You know the type
Like right now, he sleeps while I write
But it's better than crying
I'm worn out from trying
From loving a man who always makes it clear
I'm not welcome here
Just till he's horny and hungry
or needs something cleaned
And you know what I mean

But not tonight
'Cause come the morning light, oh
I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
The stronger woman in me

I'm going to be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no,
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me

Light bulbs buzz,
I get up
And head to my drawer
I wish there was more
I could say
Another fairytale fades to gray
I've lived on hope
Just like a child
Walking that mile
Faking that smile
All the while
Wishing my heart had wings

Well tonight, I'm going to be
The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be, oh

I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else
Believe in me, even if someone can't see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Stick with me till the end
I won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman

This is me, packing up my bags
And this is me, headed for the door
And this is me, the best you ever had
I'm going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,
Yeah...